Log in

No account? Create an account
queen's ears


Posted on Dec 2, 2013 at 8:25 pm
Location: work
Mood: 2
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
November was pretty much a wash. Just ... ugh. One random illness after another, and 2 of 3 were medically induced.

First there was the viral rash thingie. For which the urgent-care doc gave me steroids/prednesone. The rash went away after a couple of days, but I felt like I had the flu and was extra grumpy for most of that week. Unfortunately, he didn't think to tell me to wean myself off of them gradually. So the Wednesday morning after my previous post I had my last pill, that evening I had my allergy shot, and that night I just didn't sleep. B/c bodily freak-out.

Actually, it was a lot like when I 'recover' from getting gluten-ed. That kind of adrenal-speed-up-freak-out feeling. Where I try going into my CBT techniques b/c I think I'm having an anxiety attack, but I'm not anxious or upset about anything. I had to stay home sick that Thursday b/c brain and body couldn't deal. Sweaty palms, racing pulse and heart rate, that strange feeling that I had big toothy predators to outrun. Obv nervous tummy on top of it, b/c that's just what happens. Also, these symptoms seemed to get a lot worse after eating refine carbs or sugars, so I made sure to just eat a slab of corned beef for dinner and I seemed to be OK enough to sleep. Looked things up online, and my symptoms weren't uncommon for someone coming too sharply off of prednisone. So... now I know. Blegh.

I was well enough for work on Friday, but still not great. Seemed normal again on Saturday, but was worried about being carb-sensitive. Sunday I had to start a clear-liquids-only diet for Monday's medical procedure, and by the time I'd collected my foodstuffs there was a LOT of sugar involved. Did not want to have a psychotic break from vanilla pudding and Ensure.

But steroid-withdrawl didn't seem to make Sunday's ordeal any worse. I also had to medically induce a kind of stomach flu to ... clear myself out. It was all as terribly uncomfortable as I expected. On Monday I got to be asleep for the procedure itself, which was nice b/c I didn't really want to deal with any more discomfort. I'd planned to be back at work on Tuesday, b/c some dumb part of my brain decided "Hey, I have stomach problems all the time, I should bounce back from this no prob!" having forgotten that the reason I have stomach problems is b/c my digestive system is hateful. And it didn't help that I wasn't able to sleep at all on Sunday nite. So I was home sick on Tuesday too, as I slowly worked my way back to solid noms.

In good news, my GI didn't see anything immediately horrible or terminal in my insides. But when I was still waking up she said "And we'll talk at your follow up in two weeks about *management*." I was too groggy to ask "Wait, management for what?" Meh. So I suspect something is not-right, but not as bad as it could be?

They did take a biopsy for celiac testing, so I should have a definitive y/n on that within the week. I hope. If they screw it up (like my old doc screwed up so many tests and samples) I REALLY don't want to have to go thru all of that again :-(

Today I still feel blegh, so part of my brain is all LETS DO MORE DIETARY TWEAKING but most of me is all JUST CHILL OUT I'VE BEEN SICK FOR WEEKS. Still cutting back on oxalates, which right now just means avoiding *all* forms of almonds. I can't really tell if its working b/c all-the-yuck. But before my next CostCo run Ima go over the list of low-to-high oxalate foods and see what I can come up with. This week I'm going to try and halve my chocolate intake too. After steriod-withdrawl, I'm thinking about cutting back on refined sugars. Not sure about refined carbs, tho. But while they gave me an energy boost in June, they don't seem to be doing much for me now. On the other hand, WEEKS OF SICK. Will think all of this over for the next month, and make actual plans (if I even need to) over break.

So yah, that wasn't fun. Wednesday I was able to go back to work and eat normally, but from there I went straight to NJ for Turkey Day. My immediate family picked up some nice gf options for me, and at the extended-family party on Turkey Day proper my aunt who has Celiac came out so there were more gf options. Another relative mentioned that Askhenazi Jewish ppl and Irish ppl both have high rates of Celiac, and since that's all of my genetic heritage on Dad's side things make a bit of sense. And then came all the family gossip on old age, estates, etc, and now I freaked out enough to want to start investing my extra $$ more aggressively in 2014. Yay?

And then Black Friday happened, and I participated, but I don't thing going to a NJ craft store on Friday afternoon was so heinous. We drove past the malls, very glad we weren't involved in that craziness. And I picked up materials for *making* presents, so my conscience is clear.

And the BPAL binge happened. See, the Yules came out the week before, and I picked out a list. And then I used my 'already have' list to cull that down to fewer bottles. I already had some older LE's on a shopping list for November, and I was going to order those on Turkey Weekend so I could get a special free sample associated with that weekend. So I figured I'd order the Yules in December sometime. I'd recorded and organized it all on BPALs new wishlist feature, which is sho much fun to play with.

But then I looked around the new and improved website a bit more, and found that their $$ threshold for free s/h was lower than I remembered, and something I could actually hit if I combined my shopping lists for November and December. My third, extra paycheck for the month came in and was a tad more than I expected so I'd actually be under budget. But then I felt dumb for ordering EIGHT bottles of perfume plus imps. Do I really need this much new aromatherapy? Yeeesh.

I assuaged greedy-brat guilt by cutting two more Yules off the list, which still let me *just* hit the free ship minimum. That's still six bottles plus imps, plus more imps for free. But I'm still under-budget for November AND I put 90% of that extra paycheck into my IRA as planned instead of blowing it all on clothes or fabric. While BPAL's been eating a lot of my extras budget this season, it's way less space and spoon consuming than fabric or craft supplies. They're a collection of little bitty bottles, and they come ready made. I don't have to turn them into other things to enjoy them. And after Sunday/Monday's ordeal... I really needed to treat myself. Just, ugh, OMG, pls give me a shiny package to look forward to :-/

However, I'm going to cut back on splurges until my b'day in May unless a Lunacy should strike my fancy (but in the last year I've only liked 2 of 13). And stick to imps for their permanent-catalog. On the other hand, they only have huge LE updates like this for Halloween and Yule, so I'm probably safe until DCon. And in that case I'll only be allowed to buy event-specific specials, and sample the things I can order online when I get home. Instead of smuggling them in my checked baggage which was kinda stressful. I'm no where near as perfume-mad as some folks I know, but I'd still like to put my $$ in other places than this collection.

On the other hand, comparing hoarding BPAL to hoarding fabric has made me reframe my costuming plans a bit. In that I'm not sure I want to buy fabric and sew it anymore. Or tackle the giant costume plan I had for DCon. But I've also been sick for all of November, after a crazy sewing binge, so Ima give it a few more months. At least I'm sticking to my plan to not buy new fabric until after January. May take out a jacket pattern during Winter Break, or not, will see. I think sewing is something I should only do in the summer, when its too hot outside to think straight anyway.

A couple weeks ago I had the sudden, serious notion to sell all of my jewelry supplies on Etsy and cash-out of the business. Of course, that would be as much energy as making and selling my own jewerly, so probably won't happen any time soon. But the thought popped up. If someday I have the energy for jewelry again, but I still don't actually want to make any, then I may start working on that. Again, I've been sick for weeks, and I tend to make life-cuts when I feel stuck and frustrated like this. Usually its low key, like throwing out clothes that don't fit me, or empty bottles of hair products under the sink. I hesitate before shutting down a business that took years of my life (and a TON of credit card debt :-P) tho.

That reminds me, I finally cleaned up the bathroom this weekend. Tossed a ton of recyclables and took out a shelving thing that wasn't working in the space. It will live on the balcony until I figure out what to do with it. So that's good. Unfortunately, after the normal weekend chores were done that took up the last of my energy. So I had just enough spoons to overspend my spoons. Thus, I don't feel that much better today than I did for most of November. But I do feel a little better. And November is over, lets see if December is healthier.

And my Dad was nice enough to take the rest of my Discardia bin back to NJ with him, where charity groups will pick stuff up from their house when called. So I've got that little 1.5 x 2.5 bit of floor space back again, which is bigger than you'd think in such a tiny apartment. So the Chantry feels a bit neater overall this week. And I smudged with a nice incense blend I made up, cleansing and protecting. Never used sage before and I have definitely been missing out :-)

While I accomplished many home-things over the weekend (I don't think I've ever crossed out all but one thing on my wknd to-do list, OMG, no wonder I'm tired now) I was very frustrated that I didn't *go out* to do anything. But again, sick for weeks. And Saturday my tummy started trying to reestablish its boundaries and... urgh. So it was probably for the best that I stayed in.

This week, assuming I start getting some spoons back, I'd like to do some of that going-out other ppl talk about. I'm bad at organizing things, so I may default to an improv night. I'd really like to finally see Thor 2, so I might do that right after work on Thursday and then go to SFC after. Or maybe something else will come up. Its weird tho, the events page on my FB account is pretty thin for December, which everyone always says is overbooked.

Sadly this month's Browncoats is a holiday party on LI, so between the tired and the gluten I'm not going to make it. But an old pagan buddy is having her Yule party in the West Village, so that will be nice. There will probably be more holiday parties eventually, but sadly I can't do one of my own anymore. Its just too much work and not enough space. But I do get a solid two weeks off for Winter Break, so I hope I'm healthy enough to go to other ppl's parties this year.

Was looking over con plans for 2014, and after the PA trip earlier this month I'm not sure of ALL THE CONS is such a great idea now. On the other hand, I was already a bit sick when I went to PA. I'm already booked and paid for Arisia, so that's a go. And I'm still leaning towards Dexcon in July, even tho I tend to be sick on 7/4 (then again, I'm *home* on 7/4). So if I just add those to the year, that's three times more cons than usual. Otherwise, I think it might be more worth it to just make an effort to be more social and geeky in NYC, where I know all of my gluten-challanged food options, and I already have a train ticket and a place to sleep.

Maybe that would be a good re-framing exercise. "Am I too tired to go to this thing that's out of the house tonite/this weekend? Well, would it be more or less taxing than going to a new convention in another state?"

<3 Chrysilla

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/

Previous Entry  Next Entry