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queen's ears

The continuing efforts to feel better and fail less. Happy New Year?

Posted on Jan 10, 2015 at 6:07 pm
Location: Chantry
Mood: 4
Listening to: Communion After Dark podcast
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Not really up for full fledged 'resolutions', some kind of evil synergy tends to make most ppl's resolutions fail. But I have some plans that I may as well pin to the wall now? Year in review vs. Next year's forecast.

Crafty stuff:

Looking over my sewing spreadsheet, I think I'm going to not worry about jewelry work unless I feel like it, and instead work on knocking off this long list of projects by my b'day in May.

Sewing is less creative than jewelry for me, although other ppl definitely do way more awesome sewing work than I. I salute them, they are an inspiration. I just match pretty fabric with easy pattern and press 'go'. I just need to get rid of this fabric backlog, and then NOT get a new backlog :-P Will see how I feel about being crafty after that.

I'm just very low on creativity-spoons since forever, so this is a good way to be constructive even if I'm not super inspired. So the jewelry supplies and clay will sit and stay where they are, tho gamer costumes have been giving me a few ideas here and there. Oh well.

Health stuff:

Was thinking of doing dietary tweaks again, but then I'm like, "what if I resolved to make my life easier instead of more difficult this year?" so nope. And its going to be a Goat year, so easy = easy to accomplish, hopefully. And I might start eating some dairy at home again to try and get thru all the lactase pills I have now, and b/c avoiding it hasn't helped my respiratory system at all for months :-P. Also trying to let some of the oxalates back in, b/c my tummy's been changing under Strattera's influence. And that banana bread recipe is AWFUL without almond butter :-/

Instead, Ima focus on the sleep problems. B/c if one has sleep problems, and is always tired, then DUH. Will ask the new psychiatrist if an all-the-time anti anxiety medication might help with that, b/c clonopin is not something u want to take every night. Will ask my new internist if he can send me somewhere to get custom earplugs, b/c the squishy green ones hurt my ears. Might ask him about a sleep doc who isn't a total a-hole like the last one, that was pretty awful. Also, just get to bed earlier/ontime. Which means cutting back on at-home internets. Could be tricky.

And because my family history of cancer changed drastically last year, will ask about my options for getting checked for all those awful things. I think if I had it already someone would have noticed by now, since I now have nine doctors, but who knows.

Keeping an eye on my sinuses, so to speak. Maybe the last six months were just a fluke, but I have an ENT to tell me so (or not) the next time I get an S.I.

Food Stuffs

Ima keep up with tracking my food intake on a notepad, too. I accidentally lost 25-30 lbs last year, just by poking my dietary habits to see what happened. Might have put a bit back on over winter break tho. It also means groceries are easier to keep track of and save $$ on if I'm not eating as much. Especially since I track noms by weight rather than calories. Strattera is still dulling my appetite, tho other bodily areas are getting used to it, but that doesn't seem to have effected my weight so much. The bulk of my accidental weight loss happened before I started that, between January and July.

Last year I got really into crock pot cooking, but its still way simpler (and less spoon consuming) to just bake a big block of sausages from CostCo for my weekly lunches. Maybe a pork shoulder is still slightly more economical (despite price of pork going up), but not if I get extra cooking vegetables and spices and rubs and everything.

I only had sausages for lunch all summer b/c it was too hot for complicated cooking, but I think I really just hate cooking. I'll do it, I *have* to b/c of the stupid food issues, but I'd rather not spend so much time on something so perishable/temporary. Part of me wants to like it, to go along with the crowd, but ugh its just feels so pointless most of the time. I can't even get excited about baking my +10 brownies anymore b/c of all the other stuff I have to cook, wth.

When they're done with the betatest: Flaredown! Missed getting onto the betatest b/c I didn't contribute to the indiegogo in time, but OMG I wanna play with that. B/c I am a data geek :-D

Gamer Stuff

I really can't do three larps in one weekend. I'm never awake enough to play Requiem effectively, and then I'm hungover the next day. And I don't even drink. So from now on just two. Requiem definitely (fave costumes, VST is an old friend, and its the one I came back for in the first place), and either Lost *or* Accord. But in both those games I can get a lot done in downtimes and just hand off the intel to another PC. And I don't mind a cel call if someone really needs my gamer brain, if not at game that weekend I'll probly be at home. Will probably play more Lost, tho, b/c there are like a zillion IRC Accord games now.

Currently building a character for Cam/Anarch, and her future clanmates are all super friendly and very welcoming, so there may be more IRC fun in store with "Angelica Dunsirn" as well. We only have an "Orphan VSS" in NYC, which means our PCs can be from NYC (and I can't really fathom it any other way), but we don't have an active game being run.

Most of my costumes seem settled, but Marguerite always needs more dresses. For some reason that seems more practical than making more baby goth stuff for my Accord character. But as I've stated before, the rule is that I make dresses for *me* that will also work for game fanciness. If only I had more places to wear them OOC'ly.

Social Stuff:

I'm happy that the gamers have re-accepted me as one of their own, and happy that I was able to have some kind of externally-moving force in my life aside from work, but it wasn't supposed to be the *only* social outlet. But just as I was feeling more social, wham sinuses. Ironically, I'm aDC Socials for the local MES chapter, so that's also impacted by being sick all the time :-P

Would like to start going to more GF restaurants to try them out with friends, maybe on a regular monthly basis. And a few of them are avid foodies so that could be fun. There's also a kink night, and a boardgame night, ironically the same night but not the same event. Not to mention I've been trying to get to Wits End for YEARS and it never works out. Plus, goth clubs, and I know of at least a couple people who don't mind if I call them to go a'gothing some weekend. I just wish I had the energy to go dancing. I keep trying to drag myself back to the improv theaters, b/c its fun and cheap and I still have some friends there, but I'm not sure what's holding me back.

I keep missing Browncoats, either due to exhaustion or illness, I'm going to try and make that change this year. Tho obv not today, whups. Will look around Meetup.com for other similar groups, although the Harry Potter fanclub was kindof overfull of obnoxious drunk hipsters for some reason. Sadly, SCA events largely seem to take place at people's houses, where there are many pets I am allergic to. But once it gets warm again they have dance lessons in Central Park, so that would be fun. There's an occult shop in Brooklyn that has a tarot party every month, plus other events, and if I can get on a bus to Boston for larping I can take a one hour train ride to Bklyn for pagan fun. Srsly.

KGB readings tend to be the same nights as MES downtimes, and the venue is just very physically uncomfortable. NYRSF is great when its at the SoHo gallery, but lately they keep holding it in Bklyn and knothnx. But I still have lots of friends on that scene too, and it's a nice quiet evening of geeky fun.

So see, I have a lot of options. I live in friking NYC. Its really just a matter of feeling well enough to grab those options, or ignoring possibly false limitations and going anyway.


Not sure about adding tons of new cons this year. Arisia's next week, DragonCon of course (but maybe last consecutive year), *maybe* Dexcon but no other plans. The "Geek Escrow" savings accounts are working out really well, tho.

I do really like my Boston trips, and if I plan them long enough (like two months) in advance I can get cheaper train tix. So we'll see how that goes in February and if it leaves me energy for more fun outside of game while I'm out there. Not sure about traveling to other cities, not sure what Philly's MES group is like, but I've heard amazing things about D.C.


Still kinda suck financially, but I'm not destitute by any means. And I think I'll be able to max out my Roth IRA this year (b/c I can make contributions for 2014 until April), and putting my extra paychecks and IRS refunds in there worked out very well. And my Geek Escrow accounts *are* working out, so I had some good ideas that are working out. Yay for that. But in early fall I used my emergency savings like a credit card, and spent about a quarter of it, and refilling it has been slow going so far. Really have to figure that one out.

Just need to stop making the random big purchases. Learned to cut back on BPAL (tho all the s.i.'s helped :-P), now I just need to learn how not to buy huge gluts of fabric. The problem is I buy a ton of stuff, then I don't let myself buy anything for months, and then I binge again. If I could just budget a specific amount each month/season, I think I'd be OK. However... also running out of closet space. So maybe I should just stop sewing all together after this batch, except for costumes?

I also know that I'm prone to make stupid impulse buys while I'm sick, so that was a frequent problem for the second half of the year. Ugh. Not sure how to fix it, though I'm *trying* super hard to not be sick all the time. At least I'm wearing the two fancy rings I got in Nov/Dec, and one pair of the boots I got in September (don't like wearing the high heel pair now that its raining/snowing all the time).

Other Habits, good and bad

I have a bad habit of spacing out on the internet at home instead of getting stuff done, or going to bed on time. Sleeping, or vegging out on the couch, would be a totally passive activity. Sewing and cleaning would be totally active. Unless I'm in an IRC game, the internet is some uncomfortable place between active and passive, so I can't start something else and its very hard to just shut it off. I think its getting in the way of a lot of other things.

Will see what kind of measures I can take to un-internet while I'm home. Sadly I can't just turn off my modem like I used to b/c it resets all the passwords :-P

Along those lines, when I'm at home I'd like to be either entirely active *or* passive, so basically see above. Tired? Watch neflix on the comfy couch. Awake? Sew or clean stuff. No more zoning out on the internet until I miss bedtime.

Books are still a thing, right? I have a whole shelf full of new books I haven't started reading, and some of them have been there for *years*. I don't remember when I used to read them. Working on that.

I'm quite sure that music is still a thing. Got on Emusic again, b/c lots of gothy bands seem to put their music up there. So I can make a list from the podcasts I listen to, and gradually pick them up each month, maybe with a booster for my b'day. I have 8GB on my mp3 player, would like to actually utilize that space. Lets see if having a 'music allowance' works better this time around.

Thought of having a "Big Cleaning Day" once a month, not sure if that's a good idea. Might leave things to pile up and drive me crazy, then do everything that one day and burn out. And then what happens if I'm sick that day, or if something actually fun comes up? Meh.

Spiritual stuff... ugh. So wrapped up in the mundane that I don't really have the braincells left over for higher states of consciousness and intuition. Will try to keep up with the regular tarot forecasts, but the last couple months its been a lot of me staring at the cards and not getting it. :-/

And I'd like to 'journal' like this at least once a week. I keep writing novels on FB, and why do I need to do that when I can just record it here and publish it all at once? Maybe I'll more pointedly post via tweetdeck to keep my chatter short and sweet.

So... that's about where I am, and what I'm looking at. I tend to change lives every few years, I'd really like to start the next one please, but this one is very staunchly and unfairly holding onto me.

<3 Chrysilla

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/

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